Back on Earth
by johnliz4ever
Summary: Liz and John have some thinking to do. JohnLiz. A second ending is now up containing JackSam. Crossover with SG1.
1. Ending 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis

Note: This is my first R rated story. It was just something that came to mind when writing one of my other fictions, problem was I couldn't fit it in that story so it's got it's own story. Please review

Dr Elizabeth Weir was back on Earth, she was back in the bed she shared with Simon. As he filled her she felt empty, she felt guilty. She was cheating on John, which was impossible since they weren't dating. They had sex. No strings attached meaningless sex. Yet she still felt guilty.

Simon was nothing like John. Simon was too gentle and caring, she'd never tell him but she didn't want gentle and caring sex with a man she didn't love, and she didn't love Simon. She'd never admit it but she loved gentle and caring sex with John. She also loved it when he pinned her against a wall and had rough sex with her. She loved everything John did to her and everything he made her feel. She know she's loves him. She doesn't know if he loves her.

John carefully rolled off the bed, quickly dressed and left the apartment. He'd just had another night of pointless and meaningless sex with a women who's name he couldn't even remember. She was Carla…Carly, or something like that. He didn't give a damn who she was. The only thing that mattered was that she wasn't Liz. She wasn't the women he loved. She wasn't the women who let him love her. But then again Liz wasn't on Earth. Dr Elizabeth Weir was. Dr Elizabeth Weir was the one who brushed him off and went to visit her boyfriend. He'd never had sex with Dr Elizabeth Weir it was always Liz.

He knew that Dr Elizabeth Weir was having sex with the 'much loved' Simon.

John continued to walk and before he realised where he was he'd walked into a park near the SGC. He needed to think.

_Why is this tearing me up? She doesn't love me. I don't love her_

_Is that true is it just a lie you've told yourself to keep from getting hurt?_

_Why would you think that?_

_Because you love Liz and you're scared of getting hurt like in the past._

_I'm not scared of getting hurt_

_John, you're human, of course you are. Maybe you should just tell her how you feel._

_Look she's with Simon now so it doesn't matter_

_You go back to Atlantis in 2 days. Will you just avoid her? No, because you can't. _

Liz quietly shut the door and walked down the driveway. She needed to get away from Simon, away from being Dr Elizabeth Weir; she needed to be herself. The person she isn't allowed to be on Earth, the person who loves John Sheppard.

_What's wrong with you Liz, why the hell did you come back here?_

_I came to…to…I don't know. _

_Yes you do_

_I came to tell Simon to move on. Just like, I did in the video_

_And did we accomplish that goal?_

_No_

_Why not_

_Because I was mad at John so when Simon suggested we have sex, I didn't see the problem_

_Now do you see the problem?_

_Yes, I love John, but he hates me so it doesn't matter _

_You go back to Atlantis in 2 days. Will you just avoid him? No because you can't. _

Liz didn't realise how long she'd been walking until she entered a park, which was near the SGC. She walked through it for a while until she saw a figure sitting on a bench. The park was well lit so she saw who it was immediately. She went and sat down next to him.

John sighed as the women sat next to him. He wasn't in the mood for a conversation right now. Not with anyone.

"John, we need to talk" He sat there silently so she continued "I know…we said some things we both regret."

"What makes you think I regret them?"

"Okay, I regret what I said. I'm sorry. I was confused, I…"

John stood up abruptly

"I don't wanna hear this"

Liz stood up

"Well you need to"

John didn't face her, he didn't need too.

"No I fucking don't, I don't want to hear anything about it. I don't want to hear the usual lies I hear coming from people. I thought you were different. Turns out you are just the same"

Liz placed her hand on his arm

"John."

John spun her around, and pinned her by her neck to a nearby tree

"I could just kill you right now"

Liz, showing she had no fear stared him down and croaked out a response.

"Then do it. Fucking do it. I don't give a fuck."

John saw the unshed tears in her eyes. The same tears she had after the Genii attack. The tears that told him she was afraid but not going to show it to anyone, even him. Upon seeing these tears, he released her from the tree. He'd lost her now, he knew it. She was afraid of him. Liz had never been afraid of him before. She was now.

_Of course she is, you've just threatened her. _

_I didn't…I didn't mean…_

_It's too late for that now. She's scared of you. _

Liz moved to the bench nearby and sat down. She slowly placed her hand to her neck where he'd just held her. She was hurt, but she wasn't going to tell him. She saw the pain in his eyes when he'd realised what he'd just done. She saw the regret. But, he'd scared the hell out of her. Yeah, she could hold her own against an attacker and had it been anyone other the John she wouldn't have stood for it. But it was John, and that scared her more then if it had been a stranger.

John, who was still stood up, noticed her shivering. He took his coat of and placed it around her without thinking. He then tried to place his hand on her shoulder but her automatic reflexes caused her to back away from him without really thinking about it.

"You drive me crazy Liz…" She could hear the unshed tears in his voice "…Every second I'm not with you, I think about you and when I with you I want you. I want to protect you, care for you and love you without fucking rules and people standing in the way."

She looked up at him, he could clearly see the tears that had fallen down her face and he hated himself for being the cause of them tears.

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I feel that same thing, that when you're off-world I'm counting the seconds until you come back to me, until I can hold you and know you are safe? I love you and I just want everyone to know that, but they can't because that would be morally wrong for us to be in that situation publicly."

John sat down next to her; he put his hand on her cheek and moved her face round so he could see her.

"Liz, you know how I feel about you, even though I've never really told you until now. These last four years on Atlantis with you have been the best I've ever had. You've changed me so much and you did it so quickly that I don't know if I could live without in my life. I know you're hesitant to go back to Atlantis and I know you've got Simon here but…Liz, I love you. I know I'm an ass as my behaviour a couple of minutes ago showed but…you…are everything to me. I guess I just wanted you to know that. Anyway I'm trying to force you to make a decision. I think it's only fair that you know"

John stood up and began to walk away

"When I first met you…" He turned and saw Liz stood up a few feet away from him "…I told General O'Neill that I wanted you on the team because ATA gene and, even though that was true I wanted you on that team for so much more then that. I saw you John, not a gene. I saw your kindness and your view of the world, the black mark in your record. I know this sounds weird but I respect you for that because you did what was necessary, you always do what is necessary and although I don't always approve of your methods you keep us safe."

She walked to him and gently brushed her hand across his cheek

"Leaving Earth was difficult but coming back…it's worse. I don't like who I am when I'm on Earth. Do you remember those first few months on Atlantis?"

John nodded

"That was the women I hate. That woman could never love you. I don't want to go through my life without loving you. I don't want to be Dr Weir anymore. I just wanna be Liz."

John brushed her cheek with his hand then cupped her chin and kissed her.

"What does this mean?"

"It means that I'm going back to Atlantis with you and when we do we stop messing around. We let people know that we're together, we don't wait anymore."

John nodded then kissed her again.

Fin…

John was slightly out of character but just imagine that he's been drowning his sorrows in a bar somewhere.


	2. Ending 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or SG1

Note: This is an Alternate Ending to the story. I had two idea's and really didn't know which to pick so I've written both. This story starts as Liz enters the Park.

Liz didn't realise how long she'd been walking until she entered a park, which was near the SGC. She walked through it for a while until she saw a figure sitting on a bench. The park was well lit so she saw who it was immediately. She went and sat down next to him.

"Can I sit down?"

He moved and made space for her on the bench

"General, I could use some advice."

Jack turned to face her

"What about?"

Liz placed her hands in her head before responding

"I've been an idiot. I am…Hell I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm in love with John Sheppard and he doesn't know how I feel, I don't even think he feels the same way."

Jack nodded

"I see your problem"

Liz turned to him

"Jack…can I ask you a question…off the record?"

Jack knew that when she called him Jack that it meant she wasn't going to divulge anything. She just needed a friend.

"Shoot"

Liz sighed then began

"How do you deal with seeing Colonel Carter everyday knowing you can't be with her?"

Jack was shocked, he had spent a lot of time with Liz since she'd came back, granted, but he thought that she was unaware for his feelings about his 2IC

"Don't know what you're talking about"

She looked at him, pleading in her eyes

"Please, don't play dumb with me. I need to know how to handle this."

Jack looked at her; she needed his friendship.

"Liz, it's different for everyone. With me and Carter we have to keep it professional, she's engaged anyway. There's nothing I can do about it. I waited to long and I lost her."

Jack sighed

"If you want John, don't wait around. Let him know. Don't screw up like I did."

Jack smiled at her.

"One of us should get some action"

Liz laughed

"Thank you Jack, I mean it. What you doing out here anyway?"

"I come out here a lot to think. It's close to the base so…"

Liz nodded

The two of them sat in silence

Without realising, John had walked through the park and ended up at the SGC. He was staying in the guest rooms there and since he didn't have anything better to do he decided to go finish some of the reports he owed General O'Neill.

After he'd passed all of the security checkpoints and got into the base he went to the mess hall. It'd be quiet this time of night, plus he needed some coffee to work off this damn headache.

He had been sat there for 5 minutes drinking coffee and trying to figure out how to write his report without sounding drunk when a voice came up beside him

"Mind if I join you?"

He turned round and saw Colonel Carter

"Of course not, sit down"

Carter walked round the table and sat opposite him placing her own cup of coffee down.

"Bad night?"

She asked him, she could see the dark circles under his eyes.

"Bad few days."

He sighed

"Tell me about it."

John shrugged

"Feels like my hearts been ripped out and cut into tiny piece which have then been put in a blender."

Carter winced at his graphic description

"What happened?"

"It's Liz"

"Dr Weir?" Carter confirmed

John nodded

"Yep, that's the one."

"What'd she do?"

"We were seeing each other back on Atlantis and when we come here she goes back to see her ex"

Carter sighed

"Define 'Seeing'"

"Well, if you want to be technical, it was actually just sex"

Carter gave him a knowing smile

"But you feel something more for her, you feel love"

She didn't ask she stated

"I didn't say that"

Carter nodded

"You're right, you didn't, but the look in your eyes did"

John shook his head

"Fuck, is it really that obvious?"

"A Goa'uld mother-ship in orbit around Earth is less obvious"

John lent back

"What do I do?"

"Don't leave it to long until you tell her. It could be too late"

John smirked

"You speak from experience?"

Carter smirked

"Fuck, is it really that obvious?"

**The Next day**

Liz arrived early the next day. She knew John was staying in the guest rooms and she was determined to find him in a good mood, which he usually was when he woke up.

She knocked on his door then entered; he was sat at a desk writing something.

"John?"

He turned round

"Liz…I…"

She nodded

"We need to talk"

John nodded

"Yeah, I was actually writing you a letter, I didn't know how to tell you…"

He handed her the letter

"…Just read it, it explains everything"

Liz looked at the letter and began to read

_Liz_

_I've tried before to tell you how I feel and I've never been able to go through with it, I decided that writing it might be easier.  
You are everything to me, everything I've ever wanted and been to damn stupid to realise. You've changed me in so many ways, you've made me a better person. I'd die if anything ever happened to you, I'd kill anybody who'd hurt you or even tried but after the situation with the Genii I guess you already know that. What I'm trying to tell you is that I love you, with all my heart, body and soul. You're a part of me now, a part I can't live without. I love you._

_John _

Liz was in tears by the time she'd reached the end of the letter

"Liz…"

Liz didn't let John finish before she kissed him.

"I love you, you idiot"

John placed his hand on her cheek

"Really?"

"It's what I was coming to tell you. You've changed me, made me a better person. I'd kill anyone who'd try to hurt you; You're a part of me."

John smirked

"You're stealing my lines"

Liz laughed before kissing him again

**Control room (3 Days later)**

"Be safe out there."

Liz nodded

"We will Sir… Thank you."

Jack looked confused

"What for?"

Liz smirked

"Your advice, now can I give you some?"

Jack nodded

"Why not?"

"Take your own advice…" She glanced over at Carter "…and tell her, regulations be damned"

Over in the corner of the room John was talking to Carter

"Thanks for your help"

"You're welcome, glad it worked out okay."

"Thank you Ma'am. Permission to speak freely?"

Cater nodded

"Permission granted"

"Fuck the regulations and tell the General how you feel about him"

Carter was stunned

"How do you know?"

"Let's say I saw the look in your eyes."

John smirked at her before walking to Liz and Jack

"We're ready; McKay has the ZPM hooked up."

After a few more 'goodbyes', the members of the expedition team that had come through were all ready and waiting in the 'gate room. Carter and Jack watched as the team walked through the 'gate. As the last members stepped through Jack turned to Carter

"Carter?"

She smiled at him

"Sir?"

He smiled back

"My office"

Carter nodded

"Yes Sir."

They were about to break the regulations but damn it, the planet owed them one. Damn the regulations.

Fin…

Please review. I know it's crap.


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